HenceTheBlood's Xanga

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 04:28:17 GMT

Title: Unknown
Chapter 1

"What the hell do you want me to do?! You want to fucking keep this business going and it's going nowhere! Sell the fucking place!"
"Why? So you can take control of the money, and be the almighty king of the house? I don't --"
I turned the volume all the way up on my Ipod, blasting the Red Hot Chili peppers as loud as I could through those headphones so I didn't have to hear my parents arguing like little children. Me and my little brother didn't even fucking argue as much as they did. But whatever, I had my Chili Peppers. Now watching my dad drive and yell at my mom about selling our restaurant and my mom arguing that he just wanted control of the household was like watching a soap operah on mute. I let Anthony Kiedis' voice flood my ears with a torrent of pleasure and I closed my eyes, mouthing the lyrics to Californiacation along with him.
In such a tight knit community, I would have to say that I had the most dysfunctional family around. I mean, I'm no one to make judgements, I have no idea what happens in the Cooper household or the Zimbominski household, behind closed doors those people could be the fucking devil in disguise, who knew? But my family was just as bad outside the house as they were inside. My mom and dad were always throwing fucking ash trays at each other because they were both heavy smokers and then they would fuck so loud the same night I had no idea why the neighbors didn't call the cops on us.
Though my mom didn't know it, my dad was constantly cheating on her with whatever whore he could get that week. It didn't matter to him, as long as it was someone besides my mom. My dad was built so I would do whatever I could not to mess with his rules. But when I did, I'd end up with a black eye or a bloody lip that swelled to the size of a balloon. But, if my dad was fire, my mother was the coldest of ice.
Where my dad would cheat on my mom when ever the chance arose, my mother would make sure that he was the only man she was with. She was the sweetest thing on two legs, except when she got angry. She could go from the most angelic lady, to the devil's most prized demon. It didn't help that she got angry over the most mundane things . When she did get angry, which was quite often, she'd beat the shit out of me and my little brother with anything she could find around the house.
Her and my dad also argued as often as they could, just to piss each other off. The restaurant or the state of our house were good topics to get them fired up. Tonight, the topic of choice was the restaurant, and I was having none of it.
While they were fighting and near throwing their fists at each other, I was having a spiritual connection with the Chili Peppers, where ever the hell they were. I let the bass drum of Californiacation pound against my ear drums like an enraged girlfriend would pound on her boyfriends apartment door. I was loving every fucking second of it. The slow guitar solo was revitalizing. Every pluck of every string sent me on a high I'm sure no drug could put anyone on, I felt free. Just as suddenly as I had felt like I was free of whatever torture my parents might put me through, the worst possible thing happened. My dad decided to run a red light.
That doesn't seem like such a bad situation if there were no cars around. But in fact, there was a Toyota Camry speeding down the road to get home, unbeknowist to my father. I turned and saw the camry, but didn't utter a word. Time felt as if it was slowing as the camry crashed nose on directly into my door. The car bent inwards, and I was in immediate pain. The pieces of glass seemed to freeze in mid air as Anthony Kedis sang, "Destruction leads to a very rough road but also breads creation." Then time sped up again and I felt the full force of the glasses embedding themselves into the side of the face, and the side of the car snapping my fore arm in half. The pain was so blinding that I blacked out, and the last thought I had was, "At least something will be created from this, right Anthony?" Little did I know, it would be created from me. A life changing experience that I never thought could happen. All of it budding from this devestating car carsh. Now, the only thing I had to do was wake up from a coma.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 14:17:56 GMT

Chapter 1

     Micah's eyes started to close as he rest his chin on his hand. The chemistry lesson for the day wore on at such a slow speed, Micah thought that time had stopped. Rays from the sun bore down on him from the window, finishing the ingrediants for a tired chemistry student. As soon as his chemistry professor hit the topic of Daniel Rutherford's discovery of Nitrogen, Micah had completley gone to sleep.
     The slumber Micah was in had been interrupted by 4 chimes of the school bell. As he gathered his things, he wondered if the school bell was actually to wake up students from their sleep so they wouldn't be late to their next class.
     "You're lucky that this is the last day of school, Micah, or else it would be right to Mrs. Gomez's office for you." The classes eyes riveted themselves into Micah's body as if trying to puncture him with holes by just gazing at him. At this point, Micah didn't even care about the people that stared at him, or the teachers comments. He weaved through the desks and filed out of the classroom with the other students without making a comment back.
     The hall ways black paint on yellow lockers were there for school spirit, but the feeling it brought onto it's students was much less than spirit. The colors led to a high rate of migranes from the sudden contrast and a lot of trudging through the building. It was almost as if the walls sucked the happiness out of the students.
     "Thank god it's the last day." Micah murmered to himself, bumping into people as he tried to manevour himself around the student body. Then it was black. All he could see was darkness, and it frightened him for a second.
     "Guess who?" a girl's voice taunted, immediately soothing that fright.
     "Hey, baby." he smiled , turning around, the light filtering back into his eyes, so he could see the girl standing a head shorter than him. She wrinkled her nose and looked up at him with an annoyed look on on her face.
     "What, what did I do?" he asked, searching her green eyes for the answer. She reached an arm up and ruffled his shaggy brown hair.
     "You will never learn, will you? Who cares. What are we doing tonight?" Micah laughed, shaking his head.
     "I don't know what you're doing, but I know that me and Mike are going to hang out with the guys tonight, probably get absolutely wasted. I'll most likely call you for a ride. You'll do it, won't you, Courtney?" she tugged on his shirt, and kissed him gently on the lips, winking at him.
     "Don't count on it. And I guess you do have the ability to learn things about your girlfriend."
    Micah smiled, and kissed her once more.
     "All right, I'll call you later, bye Court." Courtney smiled back and walked away from Micah to her next class. The walls powers to suck happiness from the students had stopped working on Micah at that moment as he headed to his next class.

Have fun with this. This is chapter 1, it's sort of dry, I know.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 19:39:26 GMT

OK, Note to Self: Girl. Sex. Dreams. OK, cool, reminders are always good. *giggle*

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 00:46:46 GMT

So erm, Dani said I should get a C-Box. So....I'm gonna. Peace out, childer.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 11:47:45 GMT

"Kiss the window" she mouthed through the window of the car. He had tears in his eyes as he watched her, hand pressed against the window gently. He did not want to do as she said.
"Why?" he whispered in return. She stared at him and answered to calm for the sitaution, "Because we both deserve it." It was a love that would never be awakened. Locked up in the chest in the attic since day one. Even when they were together it was never fully unleashed. They had unlatched one of the latches. Then turned away from the chest, and left it in the attic to collect dust of war torn lovers. Lucky for her, it was his latch that was opened. And he now lusted for the other latch to be open. They owed it to them selves.
"But why? I don't think it will do us good now." He said to her, unsure that it was the right answer. Her eyes began to go frantic, and she whispered to him, palm pressed against the window, now she was screaming, "You have to! I want to kiss you before it happens!" He looked into her eyes. He looked around to see that no one else was on the scene. He looked at her, and closed his latch, "Buckle your seatbelt." he whispered to her, and pushed the car she was entrapped in the last little bit it needed to fall into the ocean below from the hanging bridge. The last thing he saw was the horrified look on her face, then the car splashed into the ocean. He turned around and walked away, sighing. A smirk came onto his lips as he reached the end of the bridge, knowing that he had burned the chest, letting love scream in tortured anguish within it.

Question.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 21:24:36 GMT

"Alright, Bro. That's everything." The slap of Tom's hand hitting Alex's as they clasped together was heard in the bright shining basement. They looked at each other with an understanding that would change the way everything worked around them. Alex saw Tom to the door, and watched as the equipment was hauled down Wallace away from the holy sanctuary of where band practices were held. Alex thought of all the things everyone in the band had given up to make sure it worked.

Everything's Eventual was like your first car. Your 1996 Toyota Camry. It had a bit of its flaws, but of course, it ran. Everything Eventual ran all right. There were problems, like all old cars have. But they were worked out one by one as the band trucked on. They never played shows. Didn't even record. But of course, it was lots of fun. That band atmosphere. Your band members were always like your closest friends. You guys made music together, the one thing this dying earth had to hold on to. Along with its literature. Everything else was associated with the death going around. Wars and Hurricans and such were now part of every day life. A news article didn't come around not mentioning something about death. In Drivers Ed, they were learning about the death that could happen in car crashes. It was all perfect to augment the feeling of dread that sank deep within everyones heart.

Alex stood in the basement feeling desolate, finding no solace in the equipment that was left behind. He stared at the entangled cables, with no speakers to be plugged into. The mic with no PA. The bare white walls illuminated by the bright light that shone onto them. Alex stared down at the floor that had the imprints of the drum set that once rested there. He sighed, as he made his way to the air hockey table and sat on it, staring at all that was incomplete. His mind reeled like a rat in a spinning wheel as he thought about what he would do. But, he decided to let time take its course. Maybe another band would take him, maybe he'd start another. He had no idea. But being in Everything's Eventual taught him one thing. That everything, in fact, was eventual. He'd live by his bands name. Because it was a philosphy that was quite true. Thanks Steven King.

Everything's Eventual <33

This short story is my tribute to Potential. It was what we had.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 22:05:30 GMT

OK, So...Josh.

Chapter One- The beginning of the end.

The Sun darted through the little space between the light baige blindes and happened to land right on Josh's eye. He moaned a bit as he awoke and got up out of bed, smelling the hot pocket that his mother put in the oven for him. In his Pejamas, which consited of a white shirt and white shorts, he shuffled out of his room down the hall to the stairs, walking down them slowly minding his step as not to fall. He walked up to the oven, feeling his sisters stare on his back. He took out his hot pocket and took a big bite out of it, then he heard his younger sister Christine whine "EWWW! That's still cold loser!" he snapped back "Shut up you stupid little 6th grader!" He knew she'd shut up, so he just started walking up stairs. He heard her mutter something but it wasn't important, she's useless anyway. He walked to his room throwing off his T- shirt and turning on Something Corporate CD. He went into the bathroom and took a quick shower. He got out and dried off. He walked to his room and looked into the mirror, proud of what he saw. A 16 year old with highlighted purple hair. He was well built and didn't have any acne. He looked down at his dresser and picked up his piercings. He put in his Eye brow piercing and his lip piercing, right on the side of his lip where the top and bottom lip join. He walked to his closet and took out his Pink Blink 182 shirt, that had the smily on it from their latest CD. He put on his black cargo pants, that he rolled up just under his knees, and put on long socks. He put on bowling shoes, just cuz they looked cool. They were navy blue and really shiny, not matching with his outfit at all. It was cold today so he decided to wear a hat. He put on his trucker hat that was a shamrock green, with Green Day written in black letters across the front. Suddenly he heard a loud motor run outside and he cursed "Shit!" He ran to his window and looked out, he saw his bus speed by. Then he cursed again and walked to his mom, and said knocking on her door "MOM! I MISSED THE BUS!" His mom yelled back out "Again?! Josh when are you gonna take responsibilty to actually-" He didn't hear the rest, he was already storming off to get his back pack and his CD player, very mad.

Chapter 2- Just listening to music...

Josh got into the car before his mother and turned on the ignition. He looked through his CDs and picked out From Autumn to Ashes. He put in the CD and waited for his mom nodding his head to the music. He looked at his hair, made sure he spiked it up the messy kinda spike. He sighed laying back and closed his eyes. He heard the driver side door open and his mom get in. He looked over at her and she had an irritated look on. He judged he shouldn't bother her because he knew now she was going to be late for work. She started up the conversation anyway "Josh! Why can't you just be more responsible?!" He mumbled, "I don't know.." She snapped back "Is that all you know how to fucking say you retard?!" He suddenly felt hurt, being called a retard from his own mother he said to her, "I woke up late! It wasn't my fault!" She shook her head irritated, "It wasn't your fault...It's never your fault is it?!" He didn't answer. "Is it?!" He just turned up the volume to the music. She looked over at him and slapped him upside the head. He rubbed the back of his head, his mom a strong woman. "Ow! That hurt!" He said to her rubbing the back of his head fiercly. She answered, "Good! Maybe next time you'll learn to be more responsible and respectful!" He turned off his music and was on the verge of tears. He didn't want to show his mother he was weak so he held them in, hoping the ride would shorten. After what seemed like forever the car pulled up in the school parking lot. Josh got out of the car with out saying good bye to his mother and just walked up to the front doors of the high school, In those doors he knew was the only thing that mattered.

Chapter 3- School and Heaven must be the same place...

Josh walked into the front doors and immediately turned left, he could walk to her with his eyes closed, but he'd rather not in case some Jock was ready to crack jokes on him. He walked to her locker with no problem at all and got to her, the woman of his life. He smiled immediately and weaved through the hall ways to her. He hit a senior and the senior yelled "Watch where the fuck you're goin man!" But Josh didn't care, forget that he had to go see Amy. Amy was Josh's girl friend. she was short for a 16 year old, she was about 5' 1". She had long brown hair which was highlighted red. She wore Abercrombie and Fitch and "preppy" stuff like that. But that didn't matter to Josh, she was his. He walked up to her and saw Kaden there next to her. His best friend. He walked up to her and kissed her on the lips and said "Hey" she smiled sweetly and said "Hey Hunny" back. He looked at Kaden, he nodded to him and said "Was up Man?" and Kaden smiled back and said "Hey." To Josh, his life was at school. Home was hell to him, nothing went right at home. Other then the boring, stupid, useless classes, it was fun. He got to see everyone that mattered to him. He told them he'd catch them later and walked to his first class. World History with Mr. B the B stood for Bolinski, but no one called him that. Just a Mr. B, even for the teachers. Josh walked into class and yawned, being the first one there. He dazed out the window, class not even starting but he was already in another world....

Chapter 4- Fall Out Boy's night out with his girl friend.

Josh was tapping his foot eagerly 10th period. He was staring at the clock then back at the teacher, every 2 seconds. Alls that went through his head was "Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy" The bell rang. He jumped out of his seat, everything already away and started running out the class. The teacher yelled something about homework, but Josh didn't listen. Who cared anyway? Josh never did his homework. He ran through the hall ways to Amy's locker and halted right in front of her. Panting he said "Hey" she smiled and answered "Hey, you seem happy" He laughed and answered "Of course, do you want to go somewhere tonight?" She smiled again and answered "Yeah, where hun?" He shrugged. "Somewhere, I'll pick you up at 7 all right?" She nodded "Yeah" He kissed her on the lips, not worrying about anyone else and then pulled away. "OK, bye" He said and ran out the door to his bus. He sat on the bus looking out the window not listening to anything anyone was saying, Amy was going through his head constantly now. He pulled out his Disk Man and started playing Fall Out Boy nodding to the music. As soon as the bus driver pulled up at his stop he ran out of the bus and ran as fast as he could to get home. He ran in and said Hi to his sister, ignoring his mom completley and running up to his room, close and locked the door. He sat on the bed panting. He looked around to make sure his sister hadn't been snooping around earlier. He turned on a CD with a bunch of mixes on it and started changing for his date.

Chapter 4-Part 2- First Date

Josh was ready at 6. He was listening to music. He had taken a shower and completley redressed for the date. He looked better, to his standerds. He was wearing baggy Green Cargo pants, a green Less Then Jake Shirt, and a Black hat that had the Atticus Resting Bird Logo on it. When his CD finished he jumped up and walked down to the kitchen looking at the clock, 6:32, another incruciating half an hour. He sat at the table with a deep sigh. Suddenly the front door opened, He tensened up like a soldier ready for battle. His mother immediately started "Another call from one of your teachers for sleeping again in class Joshua!!!" His mom yelled. He closed his eyes and said "So?" ER! wrong. He could sense the anger from his mom. She walked up to him and suddenly he felt a sharp pain across his face. His mom had slapped him, hard. He opened his eyes and looked at her she yelled "Now your fucking failing Josh!" "Yeah! Well at least I'm not a fucking whore bag giving every guy in town a fucking blow job!" Those words appealed him greatly, But he dare not speak them. He just said "Sorry.." She answered back with "Yeah, Sorry, that's all you fucking know how to say Josh." He got up, it was 6:45 and it was time to see Amy. He walked out the door thinking about his mom. She had always been that way, even before his father passed away. It wasn't just a sudden change from a death in the family. She had always been that way. Even towards his sister. He was afraid of leaving her there alone with his mother, but he HAD to see Amy. Being away from Amy was like holding his breath. He watched the perfect scenery go by him as he walked to Amy's house. He reached her door at 6:59 and rang the door bell. She answered the door in her usual preppy clothes and she was in short shorts showing off her beautiful legs and she stepped outside in flip flops, since it was spring almost summer this was all alright. She smiled at him and said "So where are we going?" he answered "On a walk through the woods, come on." It was getting dark, and she didn't understand this but she went a long with it. They started walking through the paved woods, no one was out there except for them. Josh smiled, he turned to her and kissed her on the lips sliding his tongue into her mouth. She quickly responded and then he started kissing down her neck, she moaned a bit, Josh knew her weak spots. He knew tonight he would have a lot of fun, making up for the hard slap across the face.

Chapter 5- Which Wrist First.

Josh walked up to Amy's front door and knocked. He had smiled at what happened just a day ago, Remembering feeling Amy's soft sweet skin. He waited, and no one answered. He saw tried the door, it was open. He opened the door slowly, smiling, he'd scare Amy. Then suddenly he heard a loud yell. He ran up the stairs scared for his girl friend, he looked determined enough to take on a whole army for her. He opened the door to his room quickly and froze, all the air rushing out of him. Amy was on her back and Kaden was on top of her, they were both naked. Amy had her legs around Kaden. They were having sex, and Josh was there to witness it. He was frozen in place just staring. Amys loud yells of pleasure pierced right through his skin directly hitting his heart, He felt as if his heart had shattered to pieces. He closed the door slowly, and walked out of the house. He looked like a dead zombie, staring straight ahead, he walked in any random direction. Not going to any perticular place. Everything raced through his mind. He meant nothing to her, nothing at all. Josh's world had just turned upside down. He was defeated by his own friend, his own girl friend, his own mind. He found himself at the entrance of his house. He stepped in and walked upstairs, he suddenly felt a surge of temptation. He had quit 3 years ago, He wasn't about to restart. He couldn't resist. He reached under his bed and pulled out the sharp metallic object. He looked at it and decided to pretend that the very razor was Amy's lips. He ran it across his wrist and leaned his head back smiling. He could actually feel the soft caress of her lips. He ran it up his forarm still smiling, almost moaning as he felt Amy's lips brush against his forarm. Her passion for him was running down his arm, the pain she had caused him, came out of him in a crimson color. He felt the drip on his pants and snapped back to reality. He was bleeding furiously and was getting Dizzy. Suddenly he fell onto the floor with a loud unnatural thump and everything went black.

Chapter 6- No Use For A Name

Josh woke up, but everything was still black. He realized he was in a dark room. He heard the faint beeping in the back ground, his life line. He shook his head as if trying to shake the dizziness away. When he came to he realized he was in a hospital bed. He just lay his head back and stared up at the cieling waiting for his eyes to adjust. He recounted the events that brought him here. He felt tears forming in his eyes. He suddenly felt small and lonley. He felt like a 3 year old child with out his mother. He curled up in a ball shivering. The cold anger and sadness blanketed him. He went to sleep within an hour.

The next morning Josh woke up once again. He looked at his arms and winced at what he saw. Deep scabs that covered up his cuts, Amys last kisses to him. I twas still early, and saw he had flowers next to his bed. He looked them over. They were all from Kaden and Amy, this angered him greatly. He started crying freely and then the nurse came in. He tried to cover up his tears but she obviously noticed them because she waited at the door waiting for him to over come the grief. She walked in slowly and said "Hello Josh, how are you feeling?" He grunted "All right, how long have I been here for?" The nurse answered softly "You were in a coma for 3 days." He nodded emotionlessly. He asked her "Am I going to go on special medication?" The nurse sighed and answered slowly and dreadidly, like a doctor reporting a death "You are going to be hospitalized for the next 3 months, for these actions." He nodded, this happening to him when he was younger. The nurse left him, putting his breakfest next to him. Josh didn't have an appetite so he just sat there staring into space. He thought about it, Hospitilzation, they would teach him the meaning of life, blah blah blah, a whole bunch of bull shit in his eyes. He thought of the pained days he would spend in the hospital. In a closed padded room. Nothing to listen to , nothing to watch. He would have nothing, But then Josh suddenly smiled. Nothing wasn't always bad. No one would bother him. He would have the time to plan...

Chapter 7- Let's play pretend.

Josh walked out of the hospital whistling. It was drizziling a bit but he walked on as if it were a bright shining day. the crunch of the gravel beneath his feet. He got into the car next to his mom and she started off conversation "Do you know how mu-" He stepped out of the car and answered "I'll walk" and started to walk away. He had 3 months of peace with out the world, he wasn't about to have it ruined by his mom. Besides, he had time to plan. But the thought went through his head "Would I be able to go through with it?"

Josh walked to Amy's house. He knocked, remembering his last visit instantly. But this time, she came to the door She had a worried look on and he said "Hey" she smiled and answered "Hey Josh, come in honey" He looked at her, she looked so innocent from the outside, but on the inside he knew was the demon of his dreams. He couldn't get her face contorted with pleasure from the night out of his head, he started to shake out of anger as he stepped inside. She looked at his hands and took them, kissing each finger "Honey, are you ok?" She asked. He laughed, a bit dryly "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for caring" He added a little annoyance in the last bit, but she didn't notice. He sat down on the couch and she sat down next to him and rubbed his back and said "Honey, we're alone, you can tell me why you really cut yourself" He smiled to himself, his plan can unfold now. He nodded. "OK, come with me" He took her hand and led her to her room. She smiled a bit saying "Oh, I know what you have in mind" She stepped toward him seductively. He smiled "Do you really?" She nodded, starting to get on her knees in front of him, but he stopped her and layed her down on the bed "No, I was thinking somewhere along the linesof this.." He got on top of her and she smiled. Josh reached into his back pocket and pulled out a razor, not revealing it yet. "Have you been having fun with Kaden?" she looked at him quizzicaly "What do you mean?" He laughed "The night you told me to come over, I came in and saw you guys" She looked terrified "W-what are you talking about?" She stammered. He smiled "Nothing, but that's why I cut, and the flowing blood was also yours, not mine." She tilted her head "W-w-w-what?" he smiled revealing the razor to her, she had a horrified look on her face, very different from the face of pleasure He smiled "Ah, I love this face better then the one I last saw on you, contorted with pleasure you stupid-" She yelled loudly, but he covered her lips with his own, forcing his tongue into her mouth and pulled away and said quickly, in a whisper "You made me this way, I fooled the doctors in thinking I was ok, but I am, really, more acute to everything going on around me, Your death wont even go noticed, You'll see" he lowered himself onto her and kissed her again and said "Good bye..my love" He kissed her once more, slicing her throat with the razor, her blood flowed freely, but he made sure none got on the bed, taking his shirt off and putting it over the cut he smiled as she sufficated, he kissed her as she died, she went cold. He smiled and whispered rubbing his lips against her cold ones "The kiss of death.." he kissed her cold dead body and got up. He picked up her body and covered it with a robe. He took her body out into her woods and layed her down. He removed leaves from an area and dug with his bare hands. Once he built a sufficiant sized hole he put her in there. He went back to the house and took a shower in her own home. He made sure everything looked the way it did before, he washed the robe he took her outside with and dried it, putting it back where he found it, it looked perfect. He whistled as he left the house slipping his shoes back on, The first part of his plan finished.

Chapter 8- Four Dead Cheerleaders

Josh woke up the next morning, with a twisted smile on his face. He walked downstairs briskly whistling and saw his mother looking stressed out he asked "What's up mom?" feeling very cheerful. His mother said "They can't find Amy...they think she runned away" Josh suddenly had a blank, sad looking face on, inside he was dieing with laughter as he sat down "Oh god, really?" He asked his mother in surprise. She nodded about to cry, she really liked Amy. Josh sat down his face telling a different story then how he was feeling. He looked at her "How long ago do they think it happened?" His mother answered "About 5:30, when I came to pick you up at the hospital" He smiled as his mother got up and went upstairs to get dressed. He changed into new clothes and ran outside "Mom, I'm goin to Kaden's!" He started walking to Kaden's house, which was about 3 houses away. He knocked on the front door when he got there and Kaden's mother answered the door "Hello Josh, Kaden's upstairs, come in" Josh nodded smiling at Kaden's mother. He ran up stairs to Kaden who was playing his guitar and said "Kaden, turn that shit off you suck!" They both laughed as Kaden put down the guitar and Josh looked at him "You hear Amy ran away?" Kaden nodded looking a bit sad. "I'm sorry about that Josh." Josh nodded "Yeah me too, I'm holding back tears as we speak" He thought to himself, yeah, tears of joy. Kaden nodded and said "Wanna go out to the lake? We can go swim for a bit, It's empty today" Josh nodded, "Yeah, let's go" Kaden lead the way and Josh smiled again whispering to himself "You'll be seeing Amy very soon yourself Kaden" and hurried after him.

Chapter 9- Another one bites the dust.

Kaden and Josh were in their bathing suits in the lake swimming around. Kaden breaks an awkward silence and says, "Did you really love Amy?" Josh stared at Kaden and asks "Why?" Kaden looks away swimming around a bit and says "I don't know, I'm just...just wondering." Josh nods and says "Yeah, I did, I loved her a lot, Kaden." Josh then starts to cry a bit, regretting what he did. Kaden gives him his time of despair and just swims around a bit. Josh starts to think to himself "There's no turning back now Josh, you have to go through with it" Josh asked Kaden, "Wanna play a game?" Kaden looked up in surprise "Uh, yeah...sure" Josh smiled "Ok, we'll see who can hold their breathe the longest, ok?" Kaden nodded and Josh said "OK, Me first" Josh went under water and held his breathe, he didn't count, he didn't care. He came back up about half a minute later and Kaden asked "How long?" Josh said "36 seconds, your turn" Kaden nodded Kaden went under water and Josh swam over to him and held his head underwater. Kaden started to struggle and punch but Josh didn't feel anything, he was in total bliss killing the person that took his love from him. Josh started tearing again, but held strong. After he felt Kaden struggle stop. He pulled him out of the water and took out the razor he used to cut Amy. He put 2 long gashes down Josh's chest and threw him back into the water to let the blood flow out of him. Josh's wickedness returned as fast as a lit match. He smiled at his feet and walked home. He called up Kaden's mom once he got there and said "Hello Mrs. Wolf? Did Kaden make it home?" his mother replyed, a hint of concern in her voice "No, not yet Josh, what time did you leave?" Josh said with a smile on his face, trying to sound as concerned as he could in this moment of joy "Oh, about an hour ago ma'am. I'm concerned because I told him to call me when he got him, and he hasn't yet." She replyed "He probably went to another friends house, I'll have him call you when he returns ok?" Josh answered "Yes, thank you Mrs. Wolf" He hung up the phone and walked up stairs. He smiled, he would get away with it. Nothing was going to happen now. But he had to save her for last, no matter how much he wanted her dead. He wasn't finished yet.

Chapter 10-Nothing to do with a song.

Josh reached under the bed for the razor. He looked at the sharp edges of the blade and smiled. He flipped it around in his hand and put it away and thought to himself "This for later.." He reached under the bed and pulled out a pistol. He put it in the back of his pants and put the safety on. His mother was home from work. He walked down the stairs and said "The first word she says that's negative, I'm gonna blow her brains out" He saw his mother in the kitchen and saw her face was all whetherd from hard work he sat down at the table, feeling the cold steel from the pistol against his boxers and said "Hey Mom" She looked over her shoulder and smiled weakily...smiled! and said "Hello Joshua" She continued to wash the dishes, Josh was a little stunned. His mom had actually been nice to him. He got up to leave and then she said something "Josh, another one of your teachers called" Josh reached for the gun and started to take off the safety and his mother said again "Try to do better next time ok?" Josh started to pull the gun out. "You can go back upstairs, I'll call you when dinner is ready" He nodded, putting the gun away and walking back up the steps to his room.

Chapter 11- The Long Awaited

The rain poured down from the heavens like crystal shards shattering as they splash onto Josh's window. Josh lay awake on the bed, listening to his music as he heared his mother and sister down stairs talking. He stared at a picture of Amy, how much he longed to see her again, he didn't want to have to wait much longer, but he knew he had to. He felt the pistol on his back, just hours before he had tried to kill his mother, but she had been nice, there was nothing he could do about it, He could only kill her if she were being the devil he knew she was, but when the ray of light shone through in her darkness, it was worth it having her around. No, he couldn't wait. He got up and ran down the stairs and saw his mom and sister watching TV. His mom looked at him and immediately said "Josh, the police called, they would like a word with you, they are going to be here first thing tommorow morning." Josh nodded "Does it have to do with Amy and Kaden?" his mother nodded. Josh had no worries, he knew there was no evidance against him, no matter how much the police would say there was. Josh sat down next to his mother and sister and thought "But they'll see I'm home alone, and wonder about my parents, fuck, I'll have to wait another day." His mother looked over at him again and said "Josh, I have to tell you something very important." Josh froze a second. He was wondering "Could she possibly have ANY idea? Naw, probably not" and looked to her "Yeah, mom?" She closed her eyes then opened them "Josh, I'm...I'm pregnant" Josh stood up. He looked at her fiercley and yelled "What?! Pregnant!?" She whispered "Josh, calm down, I've been seeing someone for a long time now, and I didn't know how to approach you with it, but now there's no denying it." Josh felt a cold shiver go up his spine, how could he kill his mother when she was carrying a human life with her? He asked her "Who?" She closed her eyes and answered "Your history Teacher, you know him as Mr. B." All time stopped. Mr. B. was having sex with his mother. She continued, seeing his face horrified "We are getting married as well" Josh started to run up the stairs and his mother yelled out after him "Josh! Wait!" but he kept going he threw himself on the bed and started crying. What was he supposed to do now? His mother was marrying his favorite teacher, and he was supposed to be with AMy again. Just then it came to him. He thought "No detores was the promise, so I guess he's going with us." Josh pulled out his pistol and put it under his bed "You'll see action, I promise, we'll enjoy the spilling of their blood." Josh took out the razor and looked down at his forearms, all torn apart. He put the razor to his for arm, and cut a small line across, blood slowly rising out of it, he did it again, with his other for arms, taking turns going up and down his for arms, wincing occasionaly when he cut deep. Josh then put the razor on the counter and went to take a shower to clean the blood off. The innocent Josh was being bled to death, slowly.

...I guess I'll have to write the last few chapters myself over. But For now, There's a story in my head I wanna write about.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 01:11:48 GMT

OK, so I got E Props, but they were making fun of me when leaving them? LoL, mad cool. And I like how being myself gets me Emo comments. Whatever, first thing I'm posting is all my poems.

Home Movies on Rewind
-------------------------------------------

Post Healer, catch my dreams, and hang em up
high in the sky along with my heart on a string,
as if I was wearin; it up on my sleeve. Take my
hand and let me take you there, to the balcony in
the sky. Where your dreams sore high, and your
tears non exsistent. Its only me and you, Hon.
Theres no body watchin;. So press those blissful
lips against me like you mean it, too, (like you mean
it too), like you mean it.

Autumn seems so far away, Time stops for
us at midnight. Stars are lookin nice tonight,
tracinthem along your face. Come on, you
need it. (Come on, you need it, too. )

Anymore, of that fiction story youve been drawin for
me? We end up together alone under the stars
(Under the stars). Spillin Water on your oil canvase.
(Yeah, spillin water on your oil canvase.) So take this pill
and fall asleep, Im not here anymore. Without me your
pale, and faded, mascara coverin your beautiful smile.
That ugly face looks good on this love story.

Autumn seems so far away, Time stops for us at midnight.
Stars are lookin nice tonight, tracin them along your face,
Yeah, Along your face...Come on, You need it,( come on you
need it too.)

So what time tonight are you gonna come knockin on my window?
Shatterin glass with your silent screams. Nobody can hear you, but
these ears. You know Im the only one, that understands you. Bleed
from the eyes that see you. Your voice is the only remedy. Is it to late to pull
the trigger? Or do I have to endour your tears a little bit longer? What time is
it, Im here waitin...Yeah Im, here waitin

One month soarin; on griffans wings,
One night of blood and tears,
One afternoon of Diein; Heart Aches,
One lifetime, (of a torn up drawning)

Autumn seems so far away, Time isn;t stopped no more.
Stars are gone from the
skys, placed in your eyes...Yeah, placed
in your eyes...

Autumn seems so far away, Time isnt stopped
No More. Stars are gone from the skys, We;re
Gone now...Yeah, we;re gone now

Worth Two Scars
-------------------------------------------

My heart bleeds black for you, on a sunday morning where the sun stops rising. It was Two nights before monday and you promised. How many times do I have to fall for you before I'm actually catched, I'm willing to fall until I've hit my head so many times I can't think straight. Antartica seems so much bigger now with out you there with me. The North pole is definently melting a lot faster. Warm me up, Hun. You're My Personality made of Golden Wings. Lift my black heart to the sky, it hasn't seen the rays of the flaming sun for ages now. And All I see is you. I close my eyes and you're slowly whisperin' in my ears words of endless love, if Only I wasn't Deaf. I'm sleepin' and not dreamin' of you. And I wake up with the salt dried to my cheeks, What time will you be home?

Broadway on Hold
-------------------------------------------

Hold your breath, Act 1 starts now. Curtains Open, Its opening night. Are you nervous? Cuz Im jitterin from head to toe. Hold my hand, I think Im faintin. What time does the show end, I dont think I ever want it to stop.
Put Broadway on Hold. I dont think this show was meant to end. Keep writin the script and well act it out. Conflicts, Climaxes, and Resolutions.
Theyre all starin with a greedy eye. Were we put up on this stage just to play the part? Why cant we play ourselves, in this First Class Production. The Angels descend from the heavens. Men in costumes, not immune to the immolation of this world.
Put Broadway on Hold. I dont think this show was meant to end. Keep writin the script and well act it out. Conflicts, Climaxes, and Resolutions.
The Final Applause, put it on hold, let me stay on this stage and act with you a little longer.

Battlefield in a Cellar Door
-------------------------------------------

Two shots, right to the heart, Three Shots, missed. Shells lay around my feet. Sweat. Blood. And Broken Bones, to much to think in so little time. Fallen Corpses, Soon Itll be me, laying among the dead, here on this War of Love and Scars. Eyes closed, perched up against a tree. Blood Trickling, down soaking the grass beneath my feet. Fought Hard, but all was lost. Six Feet down, just another six feet to crawl out of, to gain my place among the Best. Clawing at my coffin, to leave this torture behind. Defined to this box , itching at splinters and nails digging into my back. Not even a worth it coffin for a hero at war. Crimson soaking into the wood. I think I deserve the Purple Heart Of Courage.

War,Of Love and Scars. More Casualties then expected. Why Not Pull out when we could of saved more lives. Waiting till the last possible moment, when all hope is lost, and all souls are gone. Forget bodies, and memories are lost, Too bad Because of this War of Love and Scars.

All could of been avoided, had You informed me all was wrong. We could of Changed Coursed, for the better. Instead of Crashing and getting burned. But Ill keep walking with your heart on my sleeve, you keep carrying mine in the velvet box, broken and battered, all the beatings from your lashing swords, and bursting pistols. And my lips now cursed, hard and cracked like cement from the floor. Your lips are poison I wouldnt mind dying from.

6:66 in the exedous
-------------------------------------------

Are his loud mouth acts, braggin' about how good you are. Better then my.....attempts to secrecy? He's bragging about, the way, you move like butter, and how your skin's as smooth as velvet. I know all these things, and I know you make a good lover, even outside of bed. He owns your body, as if he won you. First prize at the fair, Yeah right, you're much then that. A rose, stripped of it's thorns, born with out those prickling things, bleedin' from the fingers, runnin' blood stained finger, along your finger tips. His face of pleasure, his face contorted, I can see it in his eyes, you're his baby doll, his first play toy. 5 year old child, grow up and realize. She's not plastic, she's not elastic.

Help is all she needs...
Help is all she needs...

She cries herself to sleep, she's thinkin' of you. She goes to sleep, takes off her jester mask, back to the sphinx she is. Speakin' in riddles, Boy, you better figure them out. Or your headed for 6 feet under. And I'll dig up your grave, in the worst of hurricans. And make it more shallow. Let your casket rot, Along with your heart, comprised of hers, and the many before.

Help is all she needs...
Help is all you need...

She's the dove in this, biblical story, of love and hate....

She's in your rib cage, beatin' for your heart...

I still need my first chance, for her to beat for me, I need you fate...

She's in your rib cage, beatin' for your heart...

I may be david, but you're goliath, Smaller and not as likely, but I'll take you down, and protect, her....

...My Personality Made of Golden Wings

Textbook Fiction
-------------------------------------------

Hell stirred and produced a demon to wreck havoc on a nation.
His job was well done, and finished with an explosion.
He gained popularity on the world, and in greed and in spite
elongated his stay. He hibernated in the sweltering heat of a desert,
most like home. He waited 12 years, before the match struck in his head.
As lives returned to humble stability, his crafting mind quickly churned.
Two doves he entranced, to strike fear in the heart of the nation. The
white birds of beauty, decayed to black as his parasites slowly controlled
their minds. In the early morning rays of the nourishing sun. The doves
took flight. The goal was to strike, when all would see, and all would see.
The two most famous brothers, seemed to be, the most likeliest target.
Standing erect, and proud. And all took pride, in the brothers.
The two dark doves entered the city with relevant ease, no trace of Angels,
to protect their pride. The first dove struck, the brother unknowing. He stood
tall still, as tears ran down his gray colored eyes. As to not instill fear, in his
brethren below. Not a moment to waste, the second dove hit target. Not only
taking the brothers life, but passing completely through him. The brothers stood
erect for as long, as their slowly failing structure would allow. To save a few more lives
they attempted. But they collapsed very sudden, and thousands died. Not all In
this paused moment in time. But later in a war, of Angels and Demons.

Black Cats and Crucifixes
-------------------------------------------

Hey Honey, tie the rest of this knot for me? Let me finish what you started. Give the nazi's my heart to use as target practice. I'm sure you'll line up and take a few shots, you've never refused before.

And I'll stand there in the cold until my fingers turn a deep purple...yes all for you.
And I'll watch the stars fall with you on a Monday night.....who knew?
Too late...Roses have fallen...Too early, Quit stallin'.

Oh beautiful, there's no way you're finished. You haven't stopped before, not until I was completley deminished. So what's holdin' you back? Is it my see through glass, my feelings always open in white and black. Six times from yesterday you said you loved me. The Seventh you said it was over..Help me look through this grass...for a four leaf clover. I'm wantin' this so bad. So bad I can't...I can't...

And I'll stand there in the cold until my fingers turn a deep purple...yes all for you.
And I'll watch the stars fall with you on a Monday night.....who knew?
Too late...Roses are fallen...Too early, Quit stallin'.

Do you want me home tonight? Do you want me by your side to wipe away your lipstick and reveal...
Do you want me gone at midnight? Hide your true feelings from me...please don't...my hearts not made of steel...

What Smile?
-------------------------------------------

He wakes up to screaming, He wakes up to crying.
He wakes up to claims of You were never good enough.
He gets dressed to yells, he gets dressed to commands.
The roof over his head is now a battlefield.

And his father, claims, That, she's wiping away
The, smile on their faces. The faces of the children that
he helped create to walk this earth. And all the while,
during his valiant speech, The same thought keeps
running through their minds
What smile? It's been gone for a while now.
Since the day that the first blow hit home.

He goes to sleep to hitting, He goes to sleep to fighting.
He goes to sleep to claims of his life.
He dreams of killing, He dreams of bones.
His own dreams are now a slaughter house.

And his father, claims, That, she's wiping away
The, smile on their faces. The faces of the children that
he helped create to walk this earth. And all the while,
during his valiant speech, The same thought keeps
running through their minds
What smile? It's been gone for a while now.
Since the day that the first blow hit home.

Leave tonight, the thoughts of having to hear this.
Scream tonight, at walls,and at cielings.
Toast tonight, To a life time of heartaches and another of broken dreams.

Leave tonight, the thoughts of having to hear this.
Scream tonight, at walls,and at cielings.
Toast tonight, To a life time of heartaches and another of broken dreams.

Dreaming of a better tommorow, Tonight we drink to a life time of heartaches.
On your knees, in your own bed room, praying that it'll be all right...all right.

And his father, claims, That, she's wiping away
The, smile on their faces. The faces of the children that
he helped create to walk this earth. And all the while,
during his valiant speech, The same thought keeps
running through their minds
What smile? It's been gone for a while now.

X' her forhead /Return Letter
-------------------------------------------

Dear Beautiful,

Hey There. It's been so long. Since the last time...I sang this song...
I wish we were back in the back seat of your mom's car.
Eyes rivited, and focused...
Focused on you....through your strands of hair
This nights not over, and I still, still haven't figured out...
Why, I love you so, It's a mystery that shouldn't be figured out...
Because, Because when it is.....Dear Beautiful,

I rush into the back room, to see if you're hearts still beating.
He rushes out the front door, to make sure they're gone.
She flies south for the winter, because it's just to damned cold.
We walk together, for hours on end, singing this song...

You were a faceless box. Nothing tangable, but always a dream.
Would lay in bed, for 5 days on end. A knock on the door would just
be a tick on the clock. Another moment in time we spent together.
For ever together....Never say forever....

From,
A heart bleeding black

P.S.

You took me with a kiss..
I took you with my words.

To Romeo, From Juliet
-------------------------------------------

Why is that forever means never, in the worst of situations? How come never let you go means it'll only last a few weeks? If you put that into a math equation, I'm sure the answer would be Impossible. You're sitting on your favorite stool at Michael's Inn, using the shots to count away seconds of your life, and an empty wallet to gauge existance. This all seems possible.

When I say Forever, it means forever, forever ago. When I say it's never, I mean I'll never ever let you go.

Wait, don't shut the door. opportunity still didn't show up in its best suit. When it did it was dirty, and unsure. It left stains on the floor. Before I could asses the situation. And now I'm sitting in a financial office. Trying to regain what I've lost. But the pain I put you through won't ever be reversed. THey don't have a practice for stitching broken hearts, and old scars.
Why won't you realize what we were, is infinity. The answer to life in a shape of a sign. A sign of friendhsip. A sign of crime. A sign of cure. It was me and you. Sad, isn't it? What we were. What we are. It will never become. We will never see what it will become.

...Those are my poems. I'll write Josh again later.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 10:15:49 GMT

Yes!! So I just read Katy's Xanga..and..What's the point? I can't even finish this. Blah. Bye.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 12:57:21 GMT

Yeaaaaaaah!!!! This is my New Xanga, hardxore.